# | Six Sentence Argument | Score | Review Comments |
1 | Bilmar deforestation for palm oil sourcing can have a huge impact on the Duolever’s reputation. | 2 | Function: Explains what the argument will be about.
Quality: The threat to reputation attracts my attention. Well done. |
2 | Duolever should use its position to force Bilmar to stop deforestation for palm oil production. | 2 | Function: Yes, this position responds to the introduction with a concrete recommendation
Quality: It specifies who should do what. |
3 | The perpetration of buying palm oil from unsustainable source could result in a loss of credibility and reputation. | 2 | I am not so sure what you mean with perpetration. I assume you mean “buying palm oil from unsustainable sources could hurt reputation”
Function: Yes, this supports the position in #2 Quality: This is a convincing reason for me. Clearly, given the petition mail, there is a reputational risk. You might have mentioned that explicitly, but it is a fair point nevertheless. |
4 | As the chair member of the RSPO, Duolever is firmly committed to stop rainforest destruction due to palm oil sourcing. | 0 | Function: To me, this is not a challenge of #3. It seems more like a further support of #3. Given that Duolever is part of the RSPO, its reputation is even more at stake.
Quality: – |
5 | However, if Bilmar does not commit to source sustainably, it may be difficult to find other reliable supplier. | 0 | Function: This reads like a challenge, but it’s in the place of the rebuttal. It’s a good challenge, but as a rebuttal I cannot give any points.
Quality: – |
6 | In conclusion, Duolever commitment to the sustainable cause seems to be a winning strategy in the long run. | 0
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Function: This does not summarize the argument. For example, it does not mention what Duolever should do. Instead, it claims that a sustainable commitment is a “winning strategy”. This is new information and I am not sure what it means.
Quality: – |
Overall Score and Assessment: | 6 | Overall Comment:
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Additional information on the language: the examples are based on actual student 6SAs. For these students, English is a second language.