| # | Six Sentence Argument | Score | Review Comments |
| 1 | The Nigerian forest of Cross River State is being deforested by Bilmar, one of our key suppliers for palm oil. | 2 | Function: This statement makes clear what the argument will be about.
Quality: It makes the the deforestation salient to the CEO saying that it concerns “our key supplier”. You might consider turning it around: our supplier is accused of deforestation in Nigeria. But the point is given. |
| 2 | Duolever made a commitment to buy 100% certified sustainable palm oil by 2015 and expends effort to achieve this goal | 0 | Function: Sentence #2 is not really a position because you are not recommending an action, you are stating what Duolever already did. I think this statement could be a reason for cutting ties to Bilmar – but you don’t recommend that explicitly.
Quality: – |
| 3 | As a founding member of RSPO, Duolever is working to make the palm oil production environmentally sustainable
|
1 | Function: It is difficult to evaluate this reason, because it’s unclear which position it should support. But I accept that being a founding member of the RSPO could be a relevant reason for Duolever to take action, for example to uphold their commitment to sustainability.
Quality: I cannot evaluate the quality, because I don’t know what action you recommend. |
| 4 | Critics may question Bilmar’s willingness to change their behavior, due to their power by controlling 45% of the market
|
0 | Function: This is a very nice point, but I don’t see it as a challenge to the reason in #3. Sentence 3 does not suggest that Duolever is pushing Bilmar to change its behavior.
Quality: – |
| 5 | Duolever, one of the largest palm oil buyers, can force Bilmar to produce according to the sustainability criteria | 2 | Function: This rebuttal is a direct counter point to # 4.
Quality: It convinces me that a large buyer can influence a large supplier. I probably would have written “could” instead of can though. |
| 6 | Duolever should intensify its efforts to make the palm oil production sustainable by using their power on the RSPO | 0 | Function: This conclusion says that Duolever should use its powers in the RSPO, but the argument did not explain to me how that would work. So, I think the conclusion presents new information, rather than summarizing.
Quality: – |
| Overall Score and Assessment: | 5 | Overall Comment: I think you make some good points, but the argument does not flow very well, primarily because you don’t state a clear position in #2. I think you are suggesting that Duolever should use its buying power to force Bilmar to comply, which is a good idea, but it does not become clear. |
Additional information on the language: the examples are based on actual student 6SAs. For these students, English is a second language.
